Solo Marriage Therapy: How To Benefit From Counseling When Your Partner Won't Go
If you are having trouble in your marriage relationship, deciding to seek marriage therapy is a wise decision that can help get your marriage back on track. However, it can be disheartening if you are willing to go but your partner is not on board with it. You may feel like it is hopeless if your partner refuses to get counseling, but you can still reap benefits from marriage therapy even if you must go solo.
Focus on yourself
One of the key components of marriage therapy is for each partner to focus on how they can improve the relationship by analyzing their own faults and how they can improve in these areas. Taking the focus off your partner and onto yourself can have positive benefits in a marriage relationship. When you are working to improve yourself, you are less likely to be finding blame with your partner.
When your partner sees the positive changes you are making in your life, it may encourage them to take a look at any areas they need to work on in their own life. Making a commitment to work on self-improvement instead of focusing on everything your partner is doing wrong can prevent existing problems from escalating due to playing the blame game, etc.
Reflect on your partner's positive traits
Finding the good in your partner and choosing to make it the focus, rather than thinking about the negative traits, is important in healing a relationship. Think about why you chose to marry your partner in the first place. What qualities attracted you to your spouse?
Make sure to compliment your spouse on their good traits rather than telling them everything they are doing wrong. Every person has good traits, and those good traits are often much more numerous than bad habits.
Improve your communication skills
Even without your partner at marriage therapy, you can find ways to improve your communication skills. Your therapist can help you take an honest look at how well you communicate with your spouse and offer suggestions for brushing up on your ability to communicate effectively.
The best scenario for marriage counseling is when both partners agree about seeking therapy to resolve or prevent marriage problems. However, having a spouse who refuses to go should not stop you from getting counseling. Going solo will still help you understand why your relationship may be breaking down and will help you learn ways to cope when your significant other feels differently than you do regarding therapy.